Why So Serious?

I am listening to Wagner's Walkürenritt (Ride of the Valkyries) as I type this. Which, of course, can mean only one thing - I am enraged.

Some time ago, a fellow feminist directed me to a most yucky website - AskMen.com. Just typing out the web address has almost induced a stress-related heart attack. It is your typical run-of-the-mill website for men (according to the website "7 million readers a month"). It joyfully brings together pages and pages of half-naked women to objectify and subsequently "rate", stupid conservative political commentators/writers who must be rich (AKA white/Jewish/South Asian) and thousands of articles on staying at the Waldorf-Astoria-buying $10,000 watches-picking the right kind of Premium Vodka.

It also hosts the writing talents of a man named Matthew Fitzgerald - the author of a fascinating, illuminating piece of work called "Sex-Ploytation: How Women Use Their Bodies To Extort Money From Men". I know sarcasm doesn't always transfer well in written work, so I'll just say it: I EFFING HATE THIS MAN.

Most instances of misogyny and sexism are cleverly masked in our society - you have to dig deep and think hard to realise that most of the dominant views of and assumptions about our world are gendered and anti-woman. In that regard, I must hand it to Fitzgerald - he is brave enough to openly parade his malevolent sexism and "say it like it is". Of course that also makes him a bigot and a complete idiot, but I guess youwinsome-youlosesome. His newest load of bullcrap comes in the form of an article on AskMen.com entitled Training Your Girlfriend [Statutory Warning: If you are a self-respecting woman, this article will cause your blood to boil. Dr. Bhattacharya's recommendation: Read this article in an isolated space, where no living or non-living beings may be harmed by your wrath]. It is, quite possibly, the most infuriating thing I've ever read. The article basically equates women with dogs and cites "common obedience problems", including: Aggression (feminism), whining, barking (because silent/passive girls = good girls), begging, not fetching (a beer, that is) and more... It is repulsive.

Now, one may argue that this is a joke. Firstly, going off of Fitzgerald's track record, it probably isn't. Secondly, I really do not care for such a low standard of "humour" so LOL I will not. It also amazes me how men continue to find the same age-old stereotypes funny. It's quite pathetic. And, perhaps most importantly, what kind of world do we live in where something like this can actually be paraded around and "joked about"? Why the hell is it OK for us to laugh at such hateful, offensive characterizations of women?? Would something like this get widespread viewership/tacit approval if it were, for instance, about Jews or African-Americans? NO! But, of course, joking about women and gender is never out-of-bounds.

Which brings me to my final point. How do we, as feminists, counter sexism that is masked as "humour"? It's something that I personally struggle with a lot - many of my (guy) friends seem to think that throwing about sexist "jokes" in my presence is cute. Of course, their inflammatory remarks get the desired reaction. My outbursts, usually riddled with feminist theory, are almost always countered by a stupid, condescending smirk (which every man seems to have perfectly mastered) and a "Jeez. Sensitive much?" comment. GRRR. So, this anecdote in an article by Gina Barreca really made me smile.

For example, after Liz Carpenter worked for the Johnson administration she wrote a book about her experiences working at the White House. The book was out for a while, did pretty well. One evening she met Arthur Schlesinger at a cocktail party. He came over to her and smiled and said "Like your book Liz. Who wrote it for you?"

Now, clearly dear Arthur meant this as his little joke. If she had stammered and blushed, he would win the point. He could then say, "see, you just can't joke around with these women." If she'd pounded her fist on the table and threatened to call a lawyer, he could say the same thing.

Instead what Carpenter did was to say in response, "Glad you liked it, Arthur. Who read it to you?"

All she did was take his format and adapt it for her own purposes.

So, misogynistic jokers (AKA every man I encounter at any Indian dinner party) - BRING.IT.ON. We women are armed and humourous! (OK, that was a bad joke...I'll get to work on it ASAP. ahem.)