Don't let the loud colours and undying optimism fool you...

I should have seen it coming. My vivid recollections of Dil Se..., my love for cheapy-cheap dirty jokes and my slow-but-steady loss of hearing (oh, how you all lied to me - blaming it on my iPod headphones jammed into my ears 24/7 and the blaring House music) - they were all signs.

Old age, my friends, is here.

Symptoms:

1) Aching Limbs
For Kai's 24th birthday (he's Singaporean - i.e. he served in the military before coming to Brown - not an idiot who failed nursery school multiple times), Ila and I bought him a beautiful 1500 piece puzzle of the Hagia Sophia in Istanbul. Of course we didn't think we'd actually have to help him BUILD it. Alas, how wrong we were. A few weekends ago Ila, Joanna, Kai and I sat on his living room floor for 5hours (with mint tea, Portuguese sausages, baguette-pesto, and good old Rootin' Tootin' All-American chocolate chip cookies for added company) and painstakingly managed to put together about 200 pieces. Kai and Joanna had to put up with Ila and I singing everything from LeAnn Rimes' "Can't Fight the Moonlight" to Rafi saab's timeless gem "Taarif Karun Kya Uski" (Kashmir Ki Kali) and by the end of it, we cursed ourselves for being creative gift-givers with interesting friends.
Oh, the pain of having to sit cross-legged and hunch-backed, sifting through (what felt like) hundreds of thousands of (what also felt like) microscopic puzzle pieces. Will someone please pass the Arthritis meds, my bifocals and a cane? This old lady has to visit the bathroom before bed.

2) Because I Said So
You know that person? The one who thinks s/he's super-smart but really just rehashes (read as: misrepresents) things s/he may have heard in class or (wonder of wonders) read in a book once? Normally, I would just find her/him amusing and, in large doses, a little annoying. But in the case of the one that lives in very close proximity to me, to add to her screechy demanour and air of pseudo-intellectualism is the fact that I loathe, with every shred of my being, her moral righteousness, which she derives from her undying love and support for the state of israel. Also, in every conversation we get into - whether it is about Obama, anti-war movements or Palestine-israel - she MUST take the contradictory viewpoint and argue (read as: splutter) her life away.
Tonight, as she started trying to poke holes in my statement contending that the realist and the idealist need not be mutually exclusive identities in a more conscientious world, I decided that I didn't care what she thought. So, I interrupted her mid-sentence (in my defence, this is what she was saying at the time: "so like my whole thing is that idealists like think of like ideas and realists like...") and said this, "OK [insert name]. I'm really glad you're thinking about this stuff critically. But this is what I believe and it's not really up for discussion. I'm going to bed now. Good luck on homework! *fake smile*."
As Indira Gandhi must've said (read as: probably never said) during her dictatorship ::ahem:: Prime Ministership, "Democracy shemocracy"

3) What Is This Remix Business?
This really is the clincher - once the original Oldie sounds more pleasant to the ear than a newer, 'hip' version of the song...it's time to hang up the Nike kicks and invest in a pair of Aunty-ji walking shoes to go dancing in.

[Then] Pakistani songstress Tassawar Khanum's "Agar Tum Mil Jao"



[Now] Shreya Ghoshal's vocals on Anu Malik's rework of "Agar Tum Mil Jao"


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STOP THE PRESSES!
Apparently I spoke too soon! I just received a text message (at 2:34 AM) asking if I'd like to drink chai and engage in a catch-up session with a friend! Arre Wah! Perhaps I am only middle-aged? Now, if only I could find my elasticated denim jeans...